I hate the way you talk in interviews, 

and the way you plays with your hair (and buttons and everything)

I hate the way you sass, 

I hate it when you glare. 

I hate your worn red Indiana cap

and your favorite New Balance shoes

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme. 

I hate the way you’re trolling, 


I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry. 

I hate it when you’re not on the news, 

and the fact that  you don’t like to be in the news

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, 

not even close…

not even a little bit… 

not even at all. 

HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY, JESSE ADAM EISENBERG!

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